Hi Little Rhino,
You said,
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NO i am not being critical or judgemental.
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I don't think your post came off as critical or judgement. Maybe a bit simplistic, and as if you're attempting to make blanket statements and making giant assumptions about others' feeling / behaviors.
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We all do... but, what are you going to do about it?
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Going to therapy is hard work, taking medication is no fun, and functioning in daily life is 'doing something about it'. ALL of the people I've ever come across here on PC does at least one of these things.
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i am referring to people who are perfectly able to say what they need to but are choosing not to because they are deliberately opposing the therapist. That one hit me like a 2x4 in the face... i didn't get it at first. What could possibly justify that? Attention. If someone opens up, moves forward and gets better... maybe the T won't care, maybe no one will listen, maybe no one will care again.
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Not saying you're wrong here - this may be true for some people. You seem to be implying that it is the case for everyone. I don't think you can possibly know this is how anyone feels. There may be lots of reasons for chossing not to say something to a therapist. So I'm not sure why you've had a revelation by suddenly thinking it to get attention. To me, this does not seem like a likely reason at all. Maybe this was the case for you, at some point? Doesn't mean it is so for anyone else though.
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That small stream seems more certain and alluring than the risk of going hungry and never knowing when you'll find emotional food again. The solution? Stay sick. Stay stuck and miserable and there will be a limitless supply of poor-you, poor-me. Sounds bizarre, but it's not hard to find it.
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I've run into many many people here that do not sound like they have any compassion or support in their lives at all. I know for me, at times I've felt all alone only to come to PC and found that there are others who have the same situations and feelings as I have. There is something tremendously encouraging about knowing I am not alone, that others are struggling as well. And being certain that *they* are strong enough to get through it makes me thinkg that maybe I am strong enough too. Maybe it seems like wallowing, but I think that's how support and encouragement works.
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So.. ask yourself: do i want to get better? Do i have some big idea as to why i simply cannot possibly make it? i'd sincerely recommend that you question the latter if you find you do indeed have some sort of reason why you cannot ever be ok.
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This sounds very 'black and white' to me. It doesn't have to be all or nothing, one or the other. Mixed feelings are ok. Do I want to get better? yes. Do I think I cannot? Sometimes.
Sometimes I am ambivalent, meaning I feel strongly towards both extremes at the same time.
Sometimes it comes in waves - one or the other. I think that is the ebb and flow of healing and recovering. One step forward, two steps back. And sometimes a big progress, or a big backslide.
I think it's a good question you're putting out there, Little Rhino.
I guess perhaps it would be better approached if it was from your own experience, rather than making assumptions and mind-reading what others are experiencing, and making sweeping generalizations.