I just read your thread here Catherine. I am so sorry that so many things hit & cause you to go back......I know even with the minor trauma I went through it comes back to haunt me often. Can only understand too well how long term living with your experiences that became part of your life has to be so very difficult to deal with. There is no way we can put experiences like that in the cellar & lock the door so they don't come out. My new psychologist has said that it's ok & just something we have to work on how we handle it when it hits rather than working so hard to make it never come out.....I am sure that is true no matter how painful the memories....does more harm trying to keep it away.

Just letting you know how special you are to have put yourself in a place to help others in spite of how it's effecting you now. I am sure you were a part of many miracles beyond the painful memories.

An aside about your medication. My pain medication is very very expensive....with or without prescription coverage....I went to the drug country of the original drug maker & was able to qualify for their patient assistance......it isn't a part of the generic....tried the generic form of the pain patch & it wouldn't work for the 72 hours. I have found that generics are almost never the same quality as the original med. I couldn't qualify for the patient assistance due to my disability income being too high, but when I sent in the cost of the drug (as if they didn't know that anyway), but that was what qualified me for their assistance.......so I dropped my prescription coverage that I couldn't afford either....& my med is 100% covered.....just thought it might be something you could look into (you might have already done this....but just a thought).

May peace return to give you some needed rest,

Debbie