my dear, sweet cozzy... loveregardless has much wisdom into this, and she's right.

the paradox of my questions is that if you can sincerely say "yes" then you aren't doing it anymore To further what wepow said... even worse is to be engaged in a sort of "anti-therapy."

this is your journey, not mine or anyone else.. but there are common points... how you address your own method of undoing your recovery would be very individual indeed. And, there isn't a correct path.... but there is a path in the first place, the problem is not walking it but sitting down, refusing to move, claiming one is entirely incapable of moving even as they refuse to try to move. If you are even looking at the path itself and not just your motionless feet... then you are moving and you are on your path. Make sense?

there are tons of questions... there are always questions

learning trust is so hard... i've spoken to dozens and dozens of people about that reflex of worrying about the T's motives... making assumptions that he/she is angry or whatever. We don't recognize the manifestations of our own "stuff" especially early on in the trust stages (something that is indepdent of the time one spends in therapy)... it is eye-opening when we can perceive that.

my T often says that we are a work in progress... all of us, himself included. He slips up, screws up and often smiles and says "I disappoint a lot of people because I don't fit their expectation of me." He's a saint in my eyes, for his imperfections and not in spite of them.

the best suggestion i have is to really question your actions and motivations in how you approach your own journey... and not so much just what questions you ask per se. What you ask will depend on what assumptions you make when you act.