Moon, in time you can open up, but gain that therpist trust first before sharing the BIG things. It takes time to build trust, even withthe professionals. but after that turst, and time have expired then, you will be able to share some of the things you have posted here. Give it time, and hang in there, things will get better. (they just have to get better) Here's one other thing too, If your boyfriend runs, then he is not for you. If he stays, Hang on to him, he's a good guy. Rememeber the Good ones stay where as the other ones Run. It may be hard for him to see what really is going on but, he may be able to help you get through it.