thats very precise,i only wish you might have included here what one can do to heal themselves of this tragic,profoundly disrupting condition.i am bpd,and for me,i get ,used to get self injurious because i have all this frustration built up inside.and since it is most repulsive to me,to hurt someone,i hurt me.unfortunantly,i was hurting ppl who cared in the proces.thus i have ceased to self injure.i do not understand why i am so terribly dysfunctional,or how to heal my self.and when i think of commiting suicide,it is usually to rid my loved ones of the disturbances in their lives,to be brutally honest,when i was younger,all prior to the year 2000,it may have been manipulative.to bring things back to caring for me.but you must understand that i may possess that insight in looking back.at the time i knew very little about the psychology of all of this.In fact i am only just now able to see the perspectives of others,ie.my impact on them.i always thought myself to be an empath,and genuinely concerned for others.i;at this juncture in life,have only just begun to crack open and peer into the pandoras box that is me.The impact and reality of all this looking in the mirror is devastating to say the very least.i feel like a monster when i peer back,and now too.i would give almost anything to have been normal and good.i have never had a therapist,and have survived thus far;iam 42,by the sheer grace of God.my biggest fear at this time is that i will die untransformed,and as ruined by this disorder as i ever have been.treesa