|
Feb 28, 2010, 06:14 PM
|
 |
|
|
Member Since: Mar 2009
Location: So Cal
Posts: 3,342
|
|
(((((Teary)))))
I'm so sorry that you are experiencing this. 
I have been in a similar place with my family. What has worked for me, fortunately and unfortunately, is distancing myself completely from both my mother and father, and rest of my family. It's been one of the most difficult things to do and I still struggle with it. Sometimes I long for the "good ole days" when I was young and everything seemed perfect. But it wasn't perfect. It was a game, and I was a pawn.
Even though it has been painful, stepping back from all of them has given me a chance to REALLY see what was going on in the dysfunctional family circle, without the tainted perceptions of others to taint my own perceptions. It's given me a chance to see what is in my world instead of having a skewed perception based on someone else's view.
Our parents love us, and they only want the best for us...but sometimes, they also have their own agendas and don't realize that their motivation is really self serving. They don't see how they are actually devastating us with their love.
Sometimes love ISN'T enough. Your family is unhealthy. You may never get to a point were either your Mom or your Dad will truly be concerned with purely your best interest. I've been there.
Sometimes, the only thing to do is to save yourself and just walk away. They will point fingers at you, whisper behind your back. They will fling at you their barbed arrows disguised as love, but once you can see that it is they that are unhealthy and unable to love and care for you the way you need, you will be able to deflect those arrows.
It gets better once you let go and walk away. It still hurts...a lot, but it gets better.
I'm always here for you.  
__________________
|