Quote:
Originally Posted by treehouse
You know, I really believe that my T wouldn't lie to me. He has shown me before that he will be honest about things that are difficult, and he has gently refused to say things that I have asked him to say that he doesn't agree with (mostly things about little Tree and the CSA).
But, oh my gosh, it is SO HARD to sit there and take it when he says kind things. It's hard to open up and let them in...honestly, if I can just stay there and not dissociate it feels like a success.
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thanks for saying that about feeling your T is honest with you, Tree. I really needed to read that and be reminded of what my T said a couple weeks ago to me about how she will let me know if I do something "wrong" (my word, not hers, I have issues of feeling like I'm doing therapy wrong or that she's going to abandon me, etc) and that I should trust her to always do that, so if she hasn't SAID she's angry/irritated/just DONE with me then that's not the case. I have been worrying about that all day, now I feel a little bit easier about it.
Also, I know how hard it is to accept kindness from T, especially when we are in there talking about trauma/whatever and are so engulfed in shame and just a feeling of "badness". I think you SHOULD feel that's a success when you can sit and let those words in and not dissociate, Tree! It IS a success!
