I can't advise you on every question you asked. But, I'll try my best on some of them.

Now that you know your diagnosis and since you have a computer, research Bipolar II and learn all about it. I have the same DX. It helped me tremendously to read all I could and digest it. Taking responsibility for our DX is very empowering, because understanding a illness is the first step to recovery. I don't think that I would waste any time on being angry at your doctor. He may have told you your DX and you forgot about it. He's human, just as you are.

Perhaps it is a good thing that your wife is gone right now. This will give you time to work out a few things in your head. What does your T say about your situation? Lean on your T and don't be afraid to ask questions.

As far as the confusion, concerning your wife's alienation from you, take into consideration that she's been hurting too, for a very long time. I was married to an alcoholic, a lifetime ago and I remember knowing that I could never "connect" with him, due to his disease. He didn't seek help and we divorced.

Empower yourself..counseling, reading and I suggest exercise. You may think that I'm crazy, but I guarantee you that if you're physically exhausted, it helps. (actually, I am crazy... )

I hope this helps. Pat