I have been on-again-off-again trying to get myself killed in various hot spots around the world for 15 years now. I have been walking around on alert for almost three years now since coming back from the 'Stan. I can't relax unless I am home with my wife or if I am drunk and that doesn't always work. I can't smell cooking pork, I flinch at fireworks, I experiance combat stress reactions if I am on a laive range or doing scenarios in the Sim Room. Smells, tastes and sometimes nothing and my heart rate goes up and I an checking my arcs and and twitchy for action. This sucks. I'm gonna give myself a stroke. My neighbor tried to **** my wife while I was away and I way over reacted. I trust my wife and she sorted him out when it happened but I still get furious and want to kick his godamned teeth down his throat! I am so easily sent over the top now and part of me really wants to go but I can't. Follow the ROEs and keep your safety on. Focus on what is really happening and remember that you own everything that you do. That is what I have to keep saying in my head. Is anyone else going through this? I am getting almost no help from the Military. I fear that I am going to end up divorced and dead if this goes on too much longer. My wife is my friend and we've only known each other a few short years. I've never had anything worth living for before but this is so totally out of my realm of experiance, I don't know how to do it. Anybody?