hi Myzen,
I have a feeling you're right. If so, it's cycling back thru again. It seems like I almost have a couple of good days and start to think i'm making progress and then I find myself sinking right back down again. The last 2 times I saw my T I did tell hiim to "make it stop", even gave him a deadline, 3 weeks. Luckily he has a sense of humor, and just smiled.

To all: So how do you deal with it when it's there?? Sometimes at night I can't begin to explain how alone and sad it feels. But where can you turn in the middle of the night? And during the day, do you just strap it on back, and carry on? Just go through the motions as best you can? What are your secrets and tricks, any you can share? Any that might help me?
I feel like I'm trying as hard as I know how. I've been going to work, even working overtime when it's available. I'm going to start taking a class. I'm doing the busy thing. I journal. I try to avoid the stuff that gets me into trouble like overeating, etc.
At times it feels like I've traded the huge lake of self hatred and loathing for a similar size lake of sadness. It's always there, ready to pounce. Tell me, someone, does this get better too? Just part of the path?