I hope that you will find this as my son's friends family did when they took their 8 year old to a boarding school for autistic children....
they found it to be the best thing that ever could have happened to the whole family.
It wasn't easy, for sure, but in the long run for all the siblings and the parents and especially the 8 year old -- it was the healthy thing to do.

My heart is with you today and always.

fins