so I had my session w/T this afternoon. I had a lot to talk about, a lot of $hit happened this last week so there was a lot to say.

At one point, as I was talking about my 15 year old son, T interrupted me and said "what are you feeling right now?". She has done that before, kind of like she's trying to sneak-attack me into sharing my inner feelings with her or something

But, I didn't know, and I told her so. She said "check in with your body, how do you feel?" and my mind just went blank, my body went numb, I felt nothing. So she had me look at a list of feelings and see what fit.

All I could get was "anxious" and "vulnerable", but that lead to a really important point in my therapy (and the point of this post). Because T asked me "can you identify what you are anxious about?" and I thought, and took a deep breath, and said something that I had posted on another thread here earlier today. So thank you to Jexa for that thread!

I said: It's scary to come here, and be open, and let you see me. It's difficult, and it's scary. You have a lot of power."

This was HUGE for me, it was so hard to tell her that, but I did it, and I even looked at her while I said it. It was a really powerful moment for me.

T said: thank you for reinforcing that for me. Sometimes I think that after you've been coming here for a while you get more comfortable, and I need that reminder"

And I told her that it's difficult for me to remember how I felt when I first started coming, but that I'm sure I AM *more* comfortable, but that's not comfortable. She thanked me again for telling her and for reminding her of that.

I am a little worried now that T might think there's something about her that makes me uncomfortable, that's not it at all. It's just being so open and vulnerable.

What do you guys think, I know you don't know my T (I don't really know her either, lol) but do you think she could have taken it as something about HER that's difficult? I hope not.