No expectation= No disappointment

I believe my mother truly isn't able to be sincerely sorry for anything.

It sounds like you are still hoping for a sincere apology. I wish if that's what you're hoping for, it will happen for you.

I won't allow myself to be hurt in that way anymore-- in my case.
It's quite the "free" feeling and such a release of that "invisible weight"(if you know what I mean) when one is done expecting compassion from an abusive adult. (to realize that I can be OK without it!)

"One day maybe i'll be perfect and maintain perfect boundaries. All I know is that I'm human and sometimes just get fed up with dealing with it "

I don't believe anyone has to be perfect or that anyone can be. I think having insight is wonderful and I believe that is what you have.

and about getting fed up with dealing with it-- yes I can surely understand that! That's why the phone message machine to screen calls can come in great use and also protecting oneself when needed.

I'm sure you are a great person that has been through a lot--I hope you can show your mom how great people need/should be treated.
Even if she doesn't comply, she may get the message that -- "that bird don't fly here anymore"

all the best to you

fins