no I dont miss my therapist. at first and for a long time I did but somewhere along the way I discovered I didnt need to depend on my therapist for getting myself out of problems and solving my problems. somewhere along the way I discovered all the things my therapist was teaching me with walking me through fixing my problems I could do things the same way on my own. I didnt notice when I did it but my partner did. one day I was ceiling deep in bills and trying to budget and my bank account was very tight. my usual reaction to this kind of stress was start balling because I was just so frustrated and stressed and I would run for the phone and call my therapist. she would walk me through calming myself down and taking things one step at a time.

but this time I was at the dining room table getting frustrated. my partner saw and offered to to help. i literally swiped all those bills and past due notices and bank statements off the table and then sat back took a deep breath and said no I can do this all I need is to calm down and take it one step at a time. first step separate everything into their own stack electric here fuel for the furnace here, bank statements here. my partner watched for a bit and then watched from the living room. somewhere along the line my partner left the house. when I was done all bills were getting some sort of payment and my bank would be in the black instead of overdrawn. when I went to stand up the lights went out and my partner was carrying in a small cake with congrats you did it all on your own. complete with decorations on it and candles.

from then on I just naturally dealt with my problems and my therapist took the back seat. I no longer thought of her during the week. I thought more of lets write this down so I don't forget to tell her about this. I dont miss her when I dont see her because I dont "need" her to be a part of my every day life. I can do it myself and shes there for me to celebrate when I accomplish things and there if I struggle with something I cant figure out. like she says I have graduated from carrying her in my pocket, on my shoulders to standing on my own two feet but can see her across the room if I turn around.