You didn't speak up because you were scared of punishment. Some kids don't speak up because they are perfectionists and hold themselves to such high standards that they are really hard of themselves (that's my youngest son). Some kids are by nature introverts and just don't speak up because it just isn't in their nature. There are a multitude of reasons why kids don't speak up. As parents and teachers, we have to be pretty astute observers of kid's behaviors sometimes to pick up on it. We assume the kid who doesn't speak up is doing fine, but that isn't always the case.

As far as the National Honor Society goes, leadership skills is just one aspect of recommendation for acceptance. Some kids are leaders in the classroom even though that isn't recognized as a formal position, that's why teachers generally also fill out recommendation forms. She should simply fill out the forms as completely as she can. Many students in NHS are leaders in organizations, but they aren't all. She will be recognized for her academic leadership and participation in extracurricular activities.