(((((((((melbadaze))))))))

Please be gentle with yourself. There is nothing wrong with needing comfort and to be listened to. Sometimes I find it hurts to get the things that I know I was denied as a kid. It hurts like picking at a scab that has kept me from feeling those needs because that was the only way to make it through. And it hurts to open them up again and acknowledge that things were not as good as I made myself believe they were. And I had to make myself believe they were good because otherwise I could not have kept going. It hurts to look back at the things that I now know where not right. To acknowledge that I had needs that were not met. And hurts even more to try and let those needs be met now. I hate the part of me that wants to connect to T and wants to feel cared about (also a younger part it seems). It is easier to retreat into my "adult" self that wants to be independent and pretend that everything was fine.

I guess I just wanted to say that I understand where you are coming from. And you will not be too much for your T. Let her know your fear and your anger. She wont reject you. And take care of yourself during this time. You deserve to be taken care of.