Hi,
I hear you! I put up the caution sign, because that has how I have survived thus far.
I can appreciate you being tired of living your life this way, as I am too.
I have PTSD, along with other dx., and the hypervigilance and lack of trust are our defense mechanisms.
The more awareness we have around our issues, the more likely we will be able to learn different coping mechanisms, and develop more of a sense of trust in ourselves first, that we are stronger than we think, and we don't have to snarl at the whole wide world in order to be present in it and comfortable in it.
Try to take some risks in relationships. Share more of your real self and you may find that others are really safe--you just have to take the first step and risk. I am slowly making progress with my trust issues in my life, it is hard work but worth it! I'll be praying that you break your leash and stop your growling. You have it in you to do so, and to be feeling safe within and without yourself. steck