Lydia, can you change the text in your post to another color so it will be easier for some people to see?
((( Lydia )))
How do you know this woman? Is it a friend or neighbor or someone from school?
When my mom left around your age I became very attached to my next boyfriend's mother, and in fact stayed in the relationship for nearly 3 years because of how attached I was to HER.
I am very sorry to hear about what happened when you were little, that has got to be very hard. I think you are really brave for coming here and sharing the way you feel. That is a really mature thing to do and you should be proud of yourself for that.
Can you tell your friend the way you feel? Or maybe write down the reasons why you admire her? What are some things about yourself that you see in her? Things that you like?
There is NOTHING wrong with having love for someone and looking up to them, we all need good examples to grow up with.
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"...at one time, I used to break into pet shops to liberate the canaries. But I decided that was an idea way before its time. Zoos are full, prisons are overflowing... oh my, how the world still dearly loves a cage." - Harold and Maude, 1971
"I am a rainbow in somebody's cloud." - Maya Angelou
My Poetry :
http://loveregardless.blogspot.com