I went to my session today and I was in tears all the way there. It is amazing how hard I try to hide that sometimes, but my T could tell. In hind site what my husband did triggered me badly, more than I realized. We did EMDR on the overwhelmed feeling, so many things going on to contribute that. But it went to that one horrible memory from the past of my mom and what she did. After EMDR my T told me that I was shaking and I couldn't sit still and had my face covered when I was talking about what happened to me. I totally went there again during the EMDR. She spent a long time bringing me down from that memory. When I finally looked up I saw T with tears in her eyes. I am feeling really exhausted now and I think I will take a nap. My husband attacked me in a sense in my safe place (my home).

Please don't read anymore if you are sensitive to animal abuse or child abuse.

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I don't know what is up with my DH because he is truly being mean lately. Normally he isn't mean. But he joked around with my daughter that someone should smack her terminal guinea pig with a hammer. I am rather shocked he said that. Then he buys this necklace. I think he needs therapy because this is not like him.

The memory that we focused on today....

My mom used to pull the legs of daddy long legs and laugh at them trying to walk. She told me that she would do that to me if I didn't behave. I tried to save them, I put them in a box and hid with them in a basement window thing outside. I didn't know how old I was but I must have been young enough to think I was actually hiding.
This makes me feel so sad.