i feel like i'm going crazy. Since going back on the prozac i've felt like i'm not real and tonight it was like i had to prove to myself that i am. I did this sort of thing a couple of years ago, but only a few times. Tonight i smashed a wine glass and used it to cut my arm up so badly i've had to bandage it. It felt totally normal (i didn't feel angry or upset or anything - it was a rational decision) and didn't hurt. I'm aware this sort of thing isn't normal behaviour, and i'm terrified i'm losing control. I'm aware i'm rambling and i'm worried you're all going to think i'm pathetic or something. I'm so used to being in control of my emotions and my life, but now i feel like i'm slipping and i'm worried about losing the plot entirely. I have to stay in control - there's nobody to look after things if i don't (horrible dead family thing again)
am i mad? Tell me honestly!

Mildred