taking care of yourself is not selfish and by the way I was diagnosed with an inherited terminal kidney desease and told I have four years before dialysis and death if I didn't have a transplant by the end of that 4 years (the amount of time the desease took the last relative--- that was 20 years ago. and I have not had any problems yet warrenting dialysis, I contribute this bypassing the expected death deadline to the fact that I refused to believe that deadline. instead taking it day by day no drinking, no drugs and low salt diet. Sorry diagnosing doctor like I've told my son I am going to live to be 100 and see my grandchildren, teach them how to drive him nuts with whistles made out of straws and then I am going to teach my grandsons kids how to do the same.

so my suggestion is take it one day at a time and take care of yourself. they can take care of their own problems without pulling you over the edge.