AtreyuFreak,

I think you should talk about your worries that "it wasn't that bad" with your T. I'm sure that this is not the first time she has had someone who felt that way. It is often easier to think that 'it wasn't that bad' then to admit that what happened shouldn't have and that in accepting that we have to accept that we have lost so much because of it. It doesn't matter even if someone had an experience 'worse' than yours, your experience matters. It was your experience and you deserve to be able to talk about it. You are not responsible for what happened to you. It is scary to talk about these things. I did a lot of talking about how scary it was to talk about what had happened before I was able to talk about what happened the first time. And then again with every new T. Take it at the rate you are comfortable with. Your T is there for you.