I posted the other day about fears around staring an upcoming course. Things are getting progressively better as more things are slotting into place in terms of the 3 day, 5-9 on-campus stint I will be doing in another town 3 hours away, including enrollment (which I starting trying to get in order in December!!), accommodation, my needs around several disabilities and the general shambles every area of the Uni relating to all those things.

So now I'm getting excited, and of course ramping up. The course is on Sustainability and I read a book on the history of the Environmental Movement to prepare myself and have some background to set me up for the course. And I have done heaps of research on the Net. I had my psychologist laughing like crazy as we agreed I'm probably the only student to be **** enough to prepare for the course by doing something that' not even required. It's so Bipolar.

And then I was in overdrive and wanted to read Silent Spring by Rachel Carson, 1962, which started the whole modern environmental movement. And again, I wanted to read it all (very compex book) by next week for the start of the course - also not required for the start of the course, although it will be one of the reference texts. I didn't read the book but I have read study notes off the Net and again, I had my psychologist in fits of laughter. She always accuses me of being a perfectionist, which I doubt, but maybe she's right. With this Bipolar and probably others, it's so oftern all or nothing - no middle ground. She and I actually agreed that it was progress for me to stop myself from reading the whole of Silent Spring in such a short time, to moderate my behaviour and only read the study guide - and thus not burn myself out before I even get there!

And we have an ongoing laugh about how I have everything, all my paperwork in plastic files with velcro, with the subject (financials, medical, lease, whatever) in marker pen on the outside. Then I can swing to not doing a particular thing in the house and procrastinate. Does anyone relate?