I thought I would update on the situation, finally heard from bf, he is happy I told, and proud of me for breaking down that wall, and he said he hoped he hadn't pressured me into making that decision, that wasn't his intention at all that morning, he was just hurt and upset. I told him he hadn't, that the disagreement sort of just finally made me realize what I had been doing, and how it's time for me to break down those walls, slowly, surely, one step ahead right?