((((((((((((polarsmom)))))))))))))

I have a very full life, and I am still stuck by that emptiness. It feels like a very OLD emptiness...and T is the only one who can even begin to fill it up right now.

You asked how you can feel more enthusiastic about life in general? For me, it was learning to be brave enough to be ME, not the person that I thought other people wanted me to be. So....I homeschool, I am in a rock band, I am a knitter. All three of those things have brought like-minded people into my life. When my oldest was 5 and started kindergarten, I could tell when I visited his school that I would never really fit in there. When I accepted the fact that the school wasn't working for him either and brought him home, things started to change for me. One thing led to another, and I began to discover who I really am. If I kept being the person other people wanted me to be, I think the big empty space inside would be much much bigger than the T-sized hole I have right now.