Want to start out by saying i don't think i have DID, but do have Complex PTSD with definite dissociation problems. . .

Anyway. . .

I'm feeling discouraged. I've been in therapy a long time (several years), and i've learned alot and made alot of changes. But i'm stuck at this one thing and i can't get past it/fix it.

I have my normal adult self who can cope pretty well with life. But then i have traumatized parts of myself that become active when i get triggered. These sides of me are very different. . .they feel young, afraid, insecure, needy, etc. I'm very good at hiding these parts of me unless i get triggered. The problem is, when i get triggered and these other parts of me emerge, i can't pull myself out of it or access my normal adult self.

Lately, my therapist has been working with me to try to increase communication between the adult part of me and these childlike, hurting parts of myself. It is working somewhat, but i'm finding it really, really hard to do. It's like trying to access your dreaming mind when you are awake. Or like, when you are asleep and dreaming, to keep awareness of the part of you that lives life awake.

Lately, my husband has said that he thinks, when i get triggered, i should be able to pull myself out of it. Also, my therapist has started talking alot about the need to bring traumatized parts of myself that are stuck in the past into the present. . .and asking me if it is time for this?

i feel like my husband and t are expecting/wanting me to be able to do something i don't know HOW to do. when i'm feeling fine, i only have a hazy awareness of the traumatized parts of myself. And when i get triggered and those parts of me are activated, i don't know how to birng myself out of it, and into the present.

my t has been working with me on this but i still don't feel like i have much control over it. I feel pressured to do something that i can't figure out how to do.