I am seeing my p-doc today and I am really worried about the appointment. At my last appointment I was talking about my concerns about my Lithium and my doc was acting threatening and telling me she will refer me out for ECT and that she would not be able to treat me.

I decided to give it a little longer. So I am now having the issue that I am putting on too much weight (7 pounds in less than two months). My ankles are beginning to swell and I am still rather unstable (seen in my most recent posts here and on the SI forum).

I really don't want to take a drug that is making me gain weight and is working just a little bit. There is some improvement. I am not getting as depressed for as long as I was before, but other symptoms are not being addressed. I still have bouts of paranoia, agorophobia, and urges to SI.

I am afraid that she will basically kick me out of her practice and I will be out on my arse with no more meds.

Speaking of unstable, I feel like I am on a mild upswing. I am getting irritated easily and having trouble sleeping, even with Seroquel.

So I guess my question is, do I tell her what is going on with the risk she will threaten me again, insist that she treat me even if I want to go off of Lithium, or just let is go and keep gaining weight?

The minimal relief I am getting from the dose of Lithium I am taking is not worth the weight gain I am getting from it. Seven pounds doesn't sound like much, but it would take me several months to lose that amount, even without meds. Nothing fits anymore and I don't have the money to keep buying bigger clothes.