Thanks for the responses everyone. It makes me feel a little less like a freak to know others have similar feelings, and you've given me some good things to think about.

I talked about how I feel with my addictions Dr. (T is out of town so I can't see her) and she said that it's actually pretty common to feel this way. Not sure if that makes me feel better or worse.

I think the worst part of feeling like this, is that I let it keep me stuck, I don't do stuff that I know I should do like exercise and eat healthy, because I have this "why be bothered feelling" I know it also gets in the way of my doing fun things that I enjoy, like playing my harp, again because I have that why be bothered feeling.

I'd really like to not feel like this. So I guess my question is how can I add more positive things into my life that I'll enjoy and look forward to so that I'll have a reason to keep living, as opposed to jsut existing from day to day.

--splitimage