Feeling passively suicidal is making the assumption life's not worth living, so why make the effort. But the important thing to realize is, you might live until you're 100 - so do you want to continue the way you are or do you want to change. Imagine if you do live to a ripe old age and are telling your story to an author - would you like it to be the best you can do or full of "I wish I.... and regrets". So here you are - alive - it's your choice how you want to look at it. All we have is this moment, so don't live with hopes of 'not living'. I also think the majority of people(myself included) don't appreciate how lucky we actually are - including faults and bad circumstances. It could always BE worse than it is. Live you life as if someone was going to write a book about you - you deserve your best shot at life.