So, it's been a while since I actually cut myself, but I recently realized that there are other things I do to hurt myself.
The first time I stopped(I started again later on) I became self-destructive by dating guys that wouldn't work or weren't actually available (like, they were players). I even got emotionally involved with them even though I knew it wouldn't work out. I let them break my heart.
I also recently realized that sometimes I get so frustrated or furious that I will do things like pull my hair with all my strength or I will hit something as hard as I can just to hurt my hand. Sometimes I do stuff like this because the shower will go cold in the middle of taking one, or possibly because my computer won't connect to the internet.
I also avoid talking to people like my mom or my sister and I don't know why. I even yell at them to push them away sometimes.
I really don't know what to do about any of this, but I really want to stop. I don't know what to do or why I do this or anything, I'm just so confused about all of this. I wish I could just understand everything.