posting here helps some??? (we hope)

your ability to articulate what is going on is incredible. and being able to be so articulate about things does get into the way of what you mention about the emotional versus the straight logical thinking.

well.......you say you can't go numb due to that being an unhealthy thing (glad you can recognize that), you have already gotten exercise and been out socially which was very hard due to the feeling that ppl are laughing at you.........correct?

you've taken so many steps from things ppl would suggest so what does that leave us with?

what is safe to do at home? what can you manage at this time? are craft projects too complex? are your eyes okay enough today to work on something that takes focus? can you veg and watch fav. movies? play with kitties? colour? we know many of these things are repeat suggestions but very important to have list of things to choose from when feeling as yucky as you have expressed.

staying safe and remembering we can slow down and be kind to ourselves during times of not being able to stand how we're feeling is progress.

sorry that the rational stuff isn't helping the emotional.

sending you a virtual coaster ride to take you out of this for a minute or two (lost track of larger coasters and how long the rides are as we're more of a wooden coaster aficionado)

monty

when you say you don't know what to do we believe you but we also would like to gently point out that you are doing what you need to..........it may not feel like it but your communication here on this board and with your H and T and the back-up T all are the things you can do and are already doing to get through this.