Its like I can't stop myself. Why do I do this? Why does it feel good to me? I can't understand any of it. I thought about calling my sister and telling her but I chickened out. I'm afraid it will bring her down as well. I just don't think I can do that to her. I'm calling the place that's an hour and a half away again in the morning. I have got to get some help. Not sure how much more I can take. I just can't stop crying.