OMG! ((((Zoo)))) I agree with what has been written. Especially going off of your meds. I agree that you could be in worse shape than you are now. It is so frustrating and makes me angry for you that T and everyone else has been impossible to reach and has not bee a support to you the way they are supposed to be.

I agree with Tree about finding a middle ground, not too independent of the support system, yet able to function somewhat if they are not around. I have also had to face the very VERY painful reality that althought I feel quite entitled to the help that I have excruciatingly reached out for, in the end, all I have is myself and my own soul. That might sound harsh or strange, but in the end, we only have ourselves and our Ts may love us, but they dont live in out skin. I hope this makes some kind of sense and I am not making matters worse for you. I have had to look hard at these very same feelings when dt (or anyone) isnt there when I need them to be. In the end, I CAN , and you CAN have theinner strength to take care of Zoo until help comes. To hang on and soothe her, tell her she must take her medication and give her some kind words. I KNOW the feeling so well, "If you dont take care of me, then I'll go ahead and HURT myself and then you'll KNOW you should have taken care of me!" I can do that and then I realize, its me that I want to heal and its only me that I am taking that healing away from.

Im sorry you are going through this Zoo. Please hang on