Googley you came to the chat the other night and took part very well, I think you are very depressed, but like all things in life this will pass, I know thats not much comfort at the moment but remember dream a little, divert your thoughts a bit. Just so that you know I am thinking of you. Dont be too hard on yourself and certainly dont beat yourself up with the imaginary stick that we all use when we are depressed. FOr the moment just take babysteps until you feel stronger to face the world.