((((justfloating)))))
I am sorry for your grandfather's passing and I am also sorry you have to go through this alone, it is a time when one should be with their loved ones but since it is impossible right now for you, I believe you should grieve, grief is not depression, grieving is a liberating process, it brings closure and a certain relief. I work in the funeral business and I see many people who do not let themselves grieve and they suffer much more and it tends to come back and haunt them at one point or another.
Rebecca, just let it all out, cry as much as needed, be good to yourself, that is what your grandfather would want, he wants you happy and to take care of yourself.
My thoughts and prayers are with you ((((((justfloating)))))