It is so natural to feel this way. Please stop being so hard on yourself. You are doing well. Trust the process and when you feel comfortable enough and the time will be right you will be able to share with T more. Trust yourself. I know how easy it is to feel ashamed of what had happened. But you know what - you are strong and have nothing to be ashamed of. I suffered emotional (and some physical) abuse while I was a child and it took me years in therapy to talk about it. I was too ashamed that this happened in my family, after all I come from a high class, well educated, well off family so how can I disclose all this and call it by its name, it was not so bad and I turned out ok... but you see - I found that it is the moment that you break this cycle of thinking and know you have nothing to be ashamed of and what happened was not your responsibility - in that moment - you become free and such a burdon lifts off. It takes courage and trust to arrive at that moment. So trust the process. Hugs x