you guys, thank you SO MUCH for caring about me and I'm so sorry to worry you. I am torn right now between tears of...joy? for knowing I have made connections here, and feeling horrible for causing you all to worry today.

I spent the day with my daughters today, we went out for lunch and watched Alice In Wonderland, it was a really fun day and such a great distraction from all the crap that's been going on.

I just got in and came here to check in. I love you guys for caring about me. THANK YOU.

I had a major misunderstanding w/my T last night that lead to a hurricane-force emotional storm on my part, lol. I did get a chance to work things out with her last night so I didn't have to sit with those horrible feelings all night, but by the time it was all said and done I was exhausted. Add to that the fact that I hadn't slept for the 3 nights previous, and you can imagine how out of control my emotions were. When I had calmed down I was soooo sleepy and slept all night, finally. FINALLY. phew!

And then I was gone having a mother-daughter day and it was EXACTLY what I needed. A little trip to Wonderland.

I am trying not to make this message too horribly long, but thank you also for all the sound, wise advice about not stopping my meds or quitting T or making ANY major decisions while I was in such a sleep deprived state.

I am going to my group tomorrow, and to see my T on Monday as usual. I'm not going to make any changes to my meds, although I am so frustrated and angry with my pnp that I would still LOVE to quit all my meds so I don't have to deal with her anymore. But I know that would be cutting off my nose to spite my face.

I will just say that when my pnp called me yesterday afternoon and I told her that I hadn't slept for the previous 3 nights her repsonse was "let us know what happens next week". W.T.F.???

So I have to take some action, some MORE action, to get myself some better mental health care. Meanwhile, I'm going to keep things as they are in terms of my meds and therapy and I thank you all again for being such a support to me. It means SO much!