((((((((((((sincity)))))))))))))

That is EXACTLY where I am at in my therapy. We've talked about the CSA and all of the shameful secrets around that - really hard stuff - but I have spent years avoiding talking about how my mom treated me. I finally started talking about it a little bit this week, and it's just so painful.

Sometimes when I have something really hard to talk about, T will ask me if I can just talk about the easiest piece of the hard stuff...even if it's just a really tiny piece. And then I can talk about the next "easiest" piece, etc, and move as slowly as I need to.

Sometimes when things are too hard, I will write them down and give them to him.

It's so scary, but for me, if I can just find a place to START, and I can see that T is still T, and he still accepts me, and he gets why it's so hard for me, I can sometimes find a way to keep talking.

It's hard, isn't it??