I am currently a junior in high school and am 17 years of age. This is my first relationship. We have been going out for a month and a half now.

Right now I am really wanting my high school relationship to work. When I first started talking to this girl (Brittany) it was awesome. We both have very similar likes and dislikes. Altogether we are pretty much exactly alike and I loved it. When I first started talking to her I wasn't attracted that much to her looks even though she is pretty, but I loved her personality.

I was pretty much pressured into asking her out by her friends but I was thinking about asking her out in the first place anyway. The day after, I wasn't sure if I was even ready for a relationship. However, that feeling subsided and I felt like I really do want to be in a relationship with her.

I have anxiety and OCD and I obsessed about every little detail and that made me overly stressed. When I was stressed I still felt like talking to her but things bothered me and I told her I have anxiety and OCD and that I obsessed about every little detail and she is willing to go through all of these things with me. She tells me she gets a little frustrated with it but she says I'm worth it and that makes me feel wanted. But all of these feelings interrupted my goals because I got so obsessed with her so I was asking for help from everybody about my feelings. Everyone just told me I'm driving myself crazy and I'm not going to enjoy anything because of it. So I stopped. I stopped thinking about little details as much as I did and I focused more on school work and my other goals.

After that I thought, maybe I can focus more on my goals just because I don't care as much. I started to get these feelings like I just didn't care that much about her anymore because my conversations with her have just been like "whatever". Now, Brittany is always there for me, she goes through everything with me and is just nice overall to me, she absolutely likes me a lot. I have nothing bad to say about her really, all the good things about her is that; she's pretty, she's smart, she has goals, she cares about me, she's there for me, she has a great personality, she doesn't even drink or smoke like most people in my school. So I question myself "Why wouldn't I want to keep seeing this girl?" Which I honestly have no idea why.

Seeing this is my first relationship and I got used to a relationship I got overly curious about other relationships and got pretty attracted to other girls. But looks don't say anything about their personality. Sometimes I can easily say that "this girl is prettier then my girlfriend" but it still doesn't say anything about their personality and that just frustrates me. Now I've never been fully attracted to this girl by her looks, I've been attracted to her personality. What frustrates me if I feel like I can do better but I feel like I won't find anyone else like her. I want to stop being selfish and just enjoy my relationship for what it is.

Lately I've been talking to her and I get into the conversations but it also feels like I can be doing something else. A lot of the time lately I feel like I don't want to text her. Sometimes I honestly just feel like I don't care that much but at the same time I do. Sometimes I feel like I don't even care if this relationship works, but again, sometimes I do.

It's hard to tell my true feelings towards this relationship because I only have been on 2 dates with her. She has came over my house 3 times too and we made out. One of the times she came over my house, she came for dinner with my mom and I. Then we made out after that.

I see her every day at school and it always feels like the same routine. I even tried avoiding her completely one day because I wanted to see how she would react and I always feel like the one doing the work to see her. Its hard because I only get to see Brittany once a week because she has 8 siblings and she is the oldest of them all so she always needs to be around.

Maybe I just lost all of the excitement in the relationship because how bad I stress myself over? Maybe I just lost all excitement because it's the same routine? Maybe it's not meant to be? Maybe I'm over thinking way to much?

When I first started talking to her I enjoyed every bit of it. We talked non-stop and we still do, I just don't enjoy it as much. I even told her in the beginning how much I like her and how bad I want this relationship to work, and she said she'll do anything to make it work. So will I. I also said worse comes to worse then I'll take a break for a few days and I am really questioning doing it this weekend to see how I truly feel without her.

I just feel like nothing is working right now and I really want this to change.

(When I say I really want this to change, some reason I feel like it doesn't matter that much to me currently because I'm constantly thinking about it, but at the same time it does matter to me)

If there's anyway you could help me I would greatly love and appreciate it.