Thanks Jexa, Thanks Tree- I dont know what it is so hard to just "be." I cant even say in words how much I want to be able to do that. To just have an afternoon and evening when I just am me, doing nothing, relaxing and enjoying the gifts I have been given. Maybe it is related to not feeling I am worthy enough to just "be" that at any minute I will be criticized for doing nothing. Or I keep myself busy enough so I dont have to feel or think. No matter how much work I do on myself, I am still a feeling-phobe.