I used to drink on a daily basis many years ago. I had 5 years sober. Then about 4 or 5 years ago, something triggered me & I started drinking again. It wasn't an everyday thing, but I'd go on binges where I'd drink excessively maybe two or three times a week. My mom died from cancer recently, & watching her suffer really pushed me over the edge & I just didn't care- I could not cope at all with that or with having to see my siblings. I made a New Year's resolution to stop drinking & kept it until yesterday. I don't think that I'm an alcoholic b/c I can go for long periods of time without even wanting to drink, & I don't have a physical need for it. I use it as an escape, from boredom or from my head. Something really horrible happened yesterday, & it involved the very person who always seems to be my trigger- my dad. Anyway, I do really stupid things when I'm drunk, like send people emails which I later regret. Of course, I did that last night, & I may have messed myself up bigtime by doing that. I'm so scared. I think it will be okay, but it was enough of a reality slap to put me back on the right path. Plus, being that alcohol is a depressant & I suffer from severe depression, I get suicidal ideations the next day.

Just relaying my story. I've never posted in this forum before, & I truly hope that I never post that I've used again.