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Quay said:
To all: So how do you deal with it when it's there?? Sometimes at night I can't begin to explain how alone and sad it feels. But where can you turn in the middle of the night? And during the day, do you just strap it on back, and carry on? Just go through the motions as best you can? What are your secrets and tricks, any you can share? Any that might help me?
I feel like I'm trying as hard as I know how. I've been going to work, even working overtime when it's available. I'm going to start taking a class. I'm doing the busy thing. I journal. I try to avoid the stuff that gets me into trouble like overeating, etc.
At times it feels like I've traded the huge lake of self hatred and loathing for a similar size lake of sadness. It's always there, ready to pounce. Tell me, someone, does this get better too? Just part of the path?

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Quay,

This is a good question. Everyone deals differently with what they are going through because not just "one" thing works for everyone. Its hard to say. I guess for me, because I have panic disorder, OCD (intrusive thoughts) and Depression, diversion of thought works the best for me and even at times that can be difficult. I try to keep busy, like you and at times that can work very well for me and other times, not so well. I do not think it is a good idea to sweep it under the rug either. If your feeling a certain way I am a frim beleiver in either journaling about it, posting here or talking to someone in real life. I have learned over the years that my feelings, thoughts and urges are not so "uncommon". This brings me comfort because it makes me feel less alone. I know that when I come here, I will receive love and support because I am understood.

Back to the original poster, Myzen, this post was very insightful. I think alot of times we expect that we will get over it and by seeing a T or taking medications that it will "stop". But deep down we know that isnt the truth. We must deal with our illnesses on a daily basis. Some good days, some bad days and some days we are just floating through, or at least that is how it seems to me.
I think everyone here can relate to that. There are days when we can sit back and offer support to someone we can relate to but at the same time we will have a hard time taking that same advice and applying it to our own lives. Funny huh? I dont know. I am just saying that I agree with Myzen, we cant just make it stop, we find our own individual coping skills to get through each day. Weather that is a bad thing or a good thing, I really dont know. Sometimes I think by going through life like that can one really be happy? Does that exsist?

OK, OK, OK, I am rambling big time. Sometimes once I get started on a post my thoughts just start to flow so I am sorry Myzen and Quay for hijacking.


Hugs,


Jen