Okay, you know how you feel about it, and you aren't afraid to say so. I think you are to be commended for having that kind of self-awareness. One thing you might want to look at is why you feel proud of your cutting.

Can I tell you something I've just learned about myself? I wasn't entirely aware of it, but I guess I'm proud of my SI too. Particularly when I come up with some really creative way to hurt myself passively - something maybe nobody else has thought of before. I think that T figured it out. Maybe this won't apply to you, but maybe there is something you can grab onto that will, ok? Anyway, she always had this nagging feeling when I talked about my SI behaviors like I was bragging about it. I didn't mean to, that I was aware of. What she figured out was that in my family it wasn't okay fo me to be good at something or to be independent. See my post under Survivors of Abuse about Mother Spider. The only thing that I could be good at (without losing approval) was being disfunctional, and I guess I am pretty good at that. It keeps me caught in my mother's web though, that I thought I had escaped from. Every time that I hurt myself, she wins. I hate that. I'm just good at staying stuck in the spiderweb and keeping myself limited just like she wanted me to, only now I do it all by myself and keep it a secret from her. Isn't that stupid?

Well, maybe this doesn't apply to you, but I bet there is some reason why you are proud of cutting. Do you know what it is? How does it help you? We don't do things if they don't help us in some way, do we?

Rap