Tree, can you call a friend? A crisis line? Crisis lines are there for when you need them. I worried when you wrote "I think this might be more than I can bear." That sounds desperate. Does your H know how you are feeling? Can he come back earlier from his trip?

What coping skills usually work for you? One of my best coping skills is compartmentalization. I shove the intolerable stuff into a different part of my brain and don't think about it until I am in a place where it is safer to deal with it (T's office?). Do you have that skill? If my brain keeps wanting to to there, I give it other stuff to occupy it and keep it away from the stuff I shoved away. Like I work a lot of math problems or do puzzles in my head that require a lot of thought and focus. Or going outside helps me too. Walking around, looking at the trees and flowers, feeling cold or the wind. What works for you? Can you do it now?

(((((treehouse)))))