I dont have panic attacks and dont obsess about other's judging me based on what I say, so its not Panic Attacks or Social anxiety...

I am prone to bouts of depression and have OCD like thought patterns at times. I do feel like people wouldn't like to be around me or that I am not worthy of a good friendship at times.

But other times I feel like I prefer to be alone. So i'm not sure if its because of low self esteem or just a preference to be alone.

Aloneness makes me feel special in a way because it makes me feel like my mind works differently than others that have cliques, ect. This could just be a defense mechanism though.