Having a decent day.
Trying to keep busy @ work. Which has been a good day thus far.
I am trying to see how far feeling better takes me.
My fear is that when I drop down deep again it will just really be a huge blow and it will start the whole lousy cycle again. And what is more concerning is that it can come at any time. Anything can set it in motion.
Then I really think I would just disappear without a trace.
I think I am so stupid at times. And I do dumb things. And I upset the wrong people. And I push away those I really need until they really do go away.
And I think I am just really not sure if I can keep going back and forth from down to up and back all around.
Does any of this make sense?
It is like I cannot even truly enjoy feeling better because it will be so short lasting.
ARGGGGG