Are you wondering about this issue for self knowledge or are you thinking about it purely because he is on your case about it? I would think that you are the way you are.....because of many reasons. If you think your life could be better if you were more open to showing and receiving affection......then someone who is qualified to help you discover the root and /or causes of your current "unaffectionate nature" would be who you should seek out. I don't think that's something that you can just change by wishing it so. My husband does not like to be touched and he doesn't touch either. He doesn't really "feel" emotions either. From my standpoint.....I believe he is missing much. I wish that he could experience joy and "feel" good from things like touch. But from his perspective.......he can't begin to understand that. He just can't. Our couselor explained it to me this way: For whatever reason/s....at a young age.....he learned to cope on a much narrower scope than most....almost just "survival mode". He has his ocd routines that define his boundaries....and he feels safe and satisfied with very limited physical and emotional involvement with other human beings. His concept of connecting.......and mine, are at opposite ends of the spectrum. I can't ask him to change. He would have to feel the need and desire to change and it would take therapy for him. Lots of therapy.

You said......"I make myself have sex with him so he won't say nothing or get mad.". I'm sorry hon. If he knew what you were like when he married you....then he shouldn't be asking for something different from you now. But he is. Engaging in sex when it is not something you want.....has got to be hard for you.....and unless you are the worlds best actress......he's going to know that it's not a genuine, natural act for you to engage in. How satisfying is that for either of you?

I guess I'm back to my original question. Are you asking for yourself? Do you want to be different than you are? Your husband should realize that if you do take steps to get therapy for this issue......any changes you are able to make in your intimacy level should be considered a PLUS.......a BONUS.......not something he deserved and was denied. He knew what you were like in the beginning. It's not right to hold it against you later on. Hugs and best wishes to you.