I'm having a really bad night. I guess the whole weekend has been bad. We were talking about sexuality in T and it always brings up bad stuff. I keep having all these bad memories come up of times I've felt violated. I don't see T until Thursday. I kind of want to call her and leave her a message telling her how bad it is right now, but I don't want to become that client who is always freaking out and needing their T. I know we wont do any processing of this stuff over the phone and so I don't know what the benefit of calling would be. I already know that she doesn't want me to hurt myself and that she cares about me. But right now, the pain is overwhelming that. I don't want to go back to day 1, but I don't know that any of the things we have come up with will work. Maybe I'll give a couple more of them a try. I still have a couple left.