Zen,
I can relate to how you must feel, because I've had to break off from my own Mother. She is Schizophrenic, and abusive, and everytime I try to reconcile with her, I wind up hurt, and depressed. After many years of this, I decided that I have to take care of myself first. I can't control what she does but I can seperate myself from it as much as possible. You must take care of yourself! Some people don't WANT to change, or they can't. You have the power to have your own life with your own boundries. Don't accept poor treatment, you don't deserve it, and you did not bring it on yourself!
For my own sanity, I won't even let other family members talk about my Mother. I don't want to hear what crazy things she's doing because it just pours salt in a wound that will never really heal. I'm just doing the best I can in my own life.
Good luck to you,
smallbluething