[quote=sincity74;1310021 ....... she never really loved me ........ i dont know why thats so hard for me to say and so hard to talk about when i have talked to my therapist about things that are much worse. ......[quote]

but... there isn't anything worse that that, you know. That's why it hurts so much.

hang in there, you have been brave for 6 yrs preparing to work on exactly this. You can take it in baby steps, and when you're ready to take them. Come post any time, there's usualy someone here